About Me

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I am a confused soul, trying to find the meaning of life. And I feel, there is no better way to see things clearly than to write them down. So I write...oops..type ;)

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Broken thoughts :)

Seems like a weird and sad sort of a title..isnt it? But I am no heart broken ;)....just having a string of disconnected thoughts which I prefer calling broken thoughts. Has it ever occured to any of you when there is so much happening in your life, yet it all seems so stagnant, so boring :)...well boring can also be fun....you then get ample time to reflect back, within and look around and see things in perpective. You then see meaning in the most stupid things....the most trivial issues seem like carring a message...a learning....and a drop added to your ocean of wisdom ;)
Well, here I am in bangalore...2 months over....why I am here.....even I dont quite know :).... is it necessary to have a reason for every action? well...all sane people in this world do think that its necessary....so for all those people....I come up with a new excuse everytime I meet one of their kind :) sometimes I say...I am fed up with all the marriage talk at home so I escaped to bangalore...other times I say....I wanted to experience life as a real bachelor...coz I am 28 and dont have much time left to be alone ;).....but truly speaking ....I just wanted to do everything that I never did before :) but had always wanted to do...
For all these years I had always wanted to teach .....now I teach young children....and I learn from them as well......it is perhaps a greater joy, learning from kids than teaching them...learning can be so much fun...when there are kids to teach you...coz they realy want to make you learn something new....and not just do their job :) I am learning kannada from my kids :) and my co tutor Tulasi has also been a great help in this regard.....she has a 28 year old kid to manage besides her other 1st std students :)
I have always wanted to setup my own house.... my way, to clean it (and make it dirty) myself, to cook my own food..and eat it no matter how bad it turns out ;) I will learn! I will soon be moving into my new house. Looking forward to that moment :)
I also came here to renew old friendships....we had drifted apart...some of us due to very nasty reasons..others just lost touch...I am glad, I ve been able to mend some of those relationships....others I am still working on.....sometimes I give up on them...but then I try again the next day :) walking away completely always seems an enticing option....it will be effortless... but then I have decided not to let my Ego take over me....
Meanwhile, I am also working in Bangalore......been enjoying my bench life for over 2 months...just got into a project. Frankly, I didnt quite come here to work....but to sustain myself I must work. I had left behind a well earned position in my last organization ...result of 4 years of hard work put in there.....left all that behind for no reason.....but I have no regrets :) coz I am looking for something more than a promotion or a pay hike....something which I have not yet figured out as yet :)...... I am but looking for a purpose to live and not just to exist....


  1. Looking for a reason to live and not exist! Wah Wah!! Deep thoughts, Philosophical!! Thoda filmi bhi hai! ha ha ha ha ha

    On a serious note.. All the best and hope you succeed...

  2. @Tulsi....glad to receive some appreciation from my teacher :)...you have been a part of my journey so far...how good a teacher or a student(of Kannada) am i? ;)

    Thanks a lot madam :)