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I am a confused soul, trying to find the meaning of life. And I feel, there is no better way to see things clearly than to write them down. So I write...oops..type ;)

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Well this is my first attempt at writing a blog.... so quite unsure of what to put in it

As the name suggests, today is a new beginning in my life. I just resigned from my current job yesterday. After harping over this question for 2 years, yesterday was that fateful day when i finally put in my papers. And what a relief it is. Lifes been hell for these 2 long years. And as expected, this is the story of a software engineer.

I can still remember the day when i had got the call from this company and how ecstatic I was that day. It was a dream come true. All through my college days I had never dreamt of getting a job so soon after the college. I then had to give two or three treats to my friends for getting this job, as getting a job was a scarce commodity during those days. And poor little me, I was totally oblivious of what was to follow. It was nothing short of a journey through hell.

I was initially put under a project manager who was the most insecure person you would ever meet. He was so damn sure of his weakness and was so overwhelmed with it that he just wanted to stick to whatever he had. And still put on a smart face, which would make him look even more foolish. There was absolutely no work on that project which he could offer me, but still he didn’t release me and left me there to Rotttttt….. he would scare us (me and my friend) with dangerous consequences if we leak this out. After some time we got used to him and his ways and were no more intimidated. We then took our chances and approached our project director many time ….. he too was another “Dhakkan”…. Although an IIT+IIM pass out he virtually had no life in him….. one of the most lazy and sloppy fellows on earth. Finally the day came when approached our Vice President to look into our matter. For that moment it felt good to see my project manager and my project director get some verbal bashing….. deservingly. What followed was straight out of the old adage “From the frying pan into the fire”. Next year passed with just doing documentation and IISRESET. At the end of those wasted 2 years I was technically ZERO, although I had picked up some bits and pieces of knowledge along the way.

Now I found myself worthy of nothing and had no other option but to stick to my company coz I felt that nobody would want to hire a fresher with 2 years work experience. I was very frustrated with myself for having suffered for this long and still haven’t taken any drastic steps to stem the rot. My workplace felt like nothing short of a dump of toxic energy.

Now my top priority was to get some descent work to do and I was sure I was not going to get this in my current, but I didn’t have the guts to face an interview with such meager knowledge (eventually it turned out that, it is only me who considered it meager). I started studying with some purpose to land a better job. I also happened to read the book “The Alchemist” during this period, and it was indeed a marvelous work of art. Some of it too imbibed some craziness into me. Mind you, sometimes to drastically changes your life you got to be a bit crazy and take some bold steps………… I then appeared for my first interview ….. and cleared it….. got a descent job offer but as all my comates said it was monetarily not up to the mark and most importantly the work being offered was not to my liking. Then came the next offer from India’s largest software firm…… the salary bargain round was a shocker…… I never ever thought in my life that some one would ask me…. “Tera final kitna hai bol”….. it was as though I was being auctioned. I decided then and there that I m not going to join this firm. And then a month later a dream offer came to me and I decided to give it a fair chance. As you might have guessed, I cleared this too.
Yesterday I put in my papers and what followed was a 4 hours session with my Project director, my project manager and my project leader to understand my reasons for leaving. Meanwhile they also tried to lure me back with many tempting offer like … they would recommend my name for H1 visa, immediately put me into another project of my liking, increase my salary…. and a host of other goodies. But I ask, why didn’t they do all this good stuff when I was very much among. Why is this just a part of a damage control exercise. During the session, I blurted out all the mistreatment that was showered on me during the 2 years. I don’t know whether that was the wisest thing to do, I just spoke my heart out.
Now I don’t have any regrets. I m just looking forward to my job with an open mind. If one of you happen to be in a similar sort of dilemma, then don’t wait for a very long (like I did) to act. Just do it now.

I now have a bunch of new ideas to work on and an open and free mind to pursue them.
And I would advise you all, from a personal experience, that …… it is never never never never tooo late to make A Fresh Start.

3 comments:

  1. Hi mayur…nice start to remove all ur frustration out….. since I have seen u during this period I can understand ur dilemma … but I hope that u don't repeat all this in future…..best regards for ur new job

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  2. Feels great to see you move in a different direction, out of your 'comfort zone', especially after having seen you go through the entire grind that you've mentioned in your post. Hope that you conquer all what you've in your mind till the end of time, and here's wishing you immense successes wherever you go.

    P.S.:Hope tumhari nayi company Accchiiiii haaaaiiiii !!!!

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  3. Blog hopping since morning to draw some 'inspiration' and here I'm! It is one of those days on which I feel the entire universe is conspiring against me! But glad I read this..Eye opener. The last line definitely made me feel a lot better :)

    I can to a certain extent feel the feel in the post. My 'life feels like hell' phase is far from over! But what the hell! I will start afresh anyway..Life is too short to be wasted away by being self-restraint..What is life when you don't take chances? Thank you for sharing this Basude Sahab :)

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